Your unity ritual match
The Wine Box
Each of you writes a private letter to the other and seals it unread. The letters and a bottle of wine go into a wooden box that gets nailed shut during the ceremony, and you open it on a date you choose, usually your fifth anniversary.
It suits you if you want something private that the two of you come back to years from now. It fits small, quiet ceremonies where a letter to the future would feel at home.
What to gather
- A small wooden box that can be nailed shut
- A bottle of wine you will love in five years
- Two sealed letters, one from each of you
- A hammer and nails, and your officiant or a chosen friend to do the nailing
How it goes
- Two weeks before the wedding, each of you writes a letter to the other. Say why you said yes, what you are scared of, and what you promise to come back to, then seal it without showing it.
- At the ceremony, both letters and the wine go into the box.
- Your officiant or a chosen friend nails the box shut, slowly, while reading the script.
- The box lives at home. Open it on the anniversary you agreed on, or on the first hard night when one of you needs to remember why.
The script
The Wine Box · read aloud by your officiant
Inside this box is a bottle of wine that nobody is going to drink tonight, along with two letters that nobody is going to read tonight. The two of you wrote those letters and sealed them yourselves, so even I do not know what they say.
The box is going to live in your home, where you will walk past it on Tuesday mornings. Some days you will forget it is there, and on other days you will stop and look at it.
Nail the box shut, deliberately, while speaking.
One day, on a date the two of you have agreed on, or on a night when one of you needs to remember why, you will open this box. You will read what the other person wrote on the day they decided, and you will drink the wine you bought for your future selves. There are no other rules for this box.
Read it as written, or change any line the two of you wouldn’t say out loud yourselves.
Robyn Ashley Weddings · www.robynashleyweddings.com
What the kits add
The four rituals in the quiz are the ones couples ask me for most. Here’s where I’d send you next, depending on which side of the ceremony you’re on.
From the quiz
- Four unity rituals: handfasting, sand, candle and the wine box
- What to gather and how each one goes
- A ready-to-read script for each
If it’s your wedding
If none of the four is quite yours, the Couple’s Ceremony Kit has all sixteen, along with the rest of the ceremony to go with whichever one you choose.
In the Couple’s Ceremony Kit
- Sixteen unity rituals, with the words and what to gather
- Five questions that narrow the choice
- Five full ceremony scripts in five different styles
- The Story Mine for vows, and thirty readings
If you’re officiating
If you’re the one leading the ritual, the Officiant Kit has eight full ceremony scripts to set it into, the rehearsal run sheet for walking through it beforehand, and pocket cards for when something goes wrong.
In the Officiant Kit
- Eight full ceremony scripts, with names you type once
- The Story Builder, seven steps to the couple’s story
- The Rehearsal Run Sheet, a cue sheet and four pocket cards
- A marriage license reference for all fifty states