Your unity ritual match
The Unity Candle
The ritual uses three candles: a parent or family member from each side lights one of the two outer candles, and then the two of you carry those flames to a single center candle and light it together. It is the most widely recognized of the four, so it needs very little explaining.
It suits you if you want a ritual your grandparents will recognize. It fits indoor ceremonies, traditional venues and faith-friendly weddings, and it pairs well with a reading from a parent.
What to gather
- Two taper candles for the outside
- One larger pillar candle for the center
- A small table or stand to hold all three
- A parent or chosen family member from each side to light the tapers
How it goes
- Before the ceremony, your parents or chosen family members light the two outer tapers.
- During the ritual, each of you picks up your own family's taper.
- Together you touch both flames to the center pillar.
- Blow the tapers out or leave them lit. Tradition says to blow them out, because two families become one. I prefer leaving them lit, because your families are still your families after you marry, and either choice is correct.
The script
The Unity Candle · read aloud by your officiant
The two outer candles are your families. They were lit before you got here, and they are the light you grew up by.
Today each of you takes a piece of that light, and you bring the two together.
Partners light the central candle.
Lighting this candle does not mean leaving behind where you came from. You are carrying it forward into the new family the two of you are starting.
The central candle will live in your home. When you light it again on your anniversary each year, it will be the same flame you are lighting today.
Read it as written, or change any line the two of you wouldn’t say out loud yourselves.
Robyn Ashley Weddings · www.robynashleyweddings.com
What the kits add
The four rituals in the quiz are the ones couples ask me for most. Here’s where I’d send you next, depending on which side of the ceremony you’re on.
From the quiz
- Four unity rituals: handfasting, sand, candle and the wine box
- What to gather and how each one goes
- A ready-to-read script for each
If it’s your wedding
If none of the four is quite yours, the Couple’s Ceremony Kit has all sixteen, along with the rest of the ceremony to go with whichever one you choose.
In the Couple’s Ceremony Kit
- Sixteen unity rituals, with the words and what to gather
- Five questions that narrow the choice
- Five full ceremony scripts in five different styles
- The Story Mine for vows, and thirty readings
If you’re officiating
If you’re the one leading the ritual, the Officiant Kit has eight full ceremony scripts to set it into, the rehearsal run sheet for walking through it beforehand, and pocket cards for when something goes wrong.
In the Officiant Kit
- Eight full ceremony scripts, with names you type once
- The Story Builder, seven steps to the couple’s story
- The Rehearsal Run Sheet, a cue sheet and four pocket cards
- A marriage license reference for all fifty states